Dropped into an AI Studio export expecting the usual Gemini API wrapper — found a pure particle physics engine instead. 9,000 iris particles orbiting in Google's brand colors, 3,500 text particles swarming into a countdown number, a blinking eyelid system with quadratic Bézier curves, and destination-out compositing carving a void for the pupil. No backend, no API key, no @google/genai import despite the .env.example claiming otherwise. Took 71 steps to map every dead dependency — class-variance-authority, lucide-react, clsx, tailwind-merge, the cn() helper, useIsMobile hook — all scaffolded by AI Studio and never imported once. Under the cruft was 391 lines of hand-tuned Canvas 2D rendering doing additive blending (globalCompositeOperation: 'lighter'), semi-transparent frame clearing for motion blur, and weighted parallax where the pupil tracks faster than the iris to fake hemispherical depth. Verdict: worth plating.