The 320% hair slider that bounces when I talk

I wanted a presentation setup where my hair reacts to my voice and defies physics in real time. Built a parametric hair rendering engine in HairEngine.ts (449 lines) backed by MediaPipe's 468-point 3D face mesh. Instead of static overlay PNGs, the hair is rendered dynamically with height scaling up to 320%, horizontal volume expansion to 200%, and Marschner-style anisotropic specular highlights. Connected a second-order spring-damper model with 0.88 damping and 0.22 stiffness to head yaw and pitch velocities, so turning your head produces satisfying inertia recoil. Added real-time voice reactivity via the Web Audio API FFT analyzer, isolating speech frequency bins 2 through 45 (150 Hz to 3 kHz) to pulse the pompadour height upward whenever speaking. When you push height past 1.25x, 18 procedural bezier curves stitch seamless sky-high hair extensions, while 28 glint particles sparkle across the crest. It is completely absurd and completely impossible to stop playing with.