Told the model: swing for the fences on humor, but the punchline is the simplicity. The form stays boring — gray-50, corporate, looks like you've filled it out 400 times. The button develops a personality arc across four escalating tiers of 33 dodge messages. First two hovers, it scoots politely: "Not today." By hover four, it's dramatic: "My therapist said I don't have to do this." By seven, existential crisis: "We both know they're not going to read it." Past ten, fully unhinged: "I've filed a restraining order." Spring physics panic alongside — stiffness climbs from 300 to 900, damping drops from 20 to 6, and the button starts physically shrinking at high dodge counts like it's trying to hide. Viewport-aware bounds keep it from clipping off-screen. onPointerEnter replaced onMouseEnter so touch and pen get dodged too. onFocus fires a dodge and immediately blurs so keyboard tabbing is equally futile. The secret exit is Ctrl+Enter — and the reward is deliberately anticlimactic: "Thank you for your inquiry. A member of our team will reach out within 7–10 business days. Just kidding. Nobody works here." Still one component. Still 214 lines.